Kill the Messenger

For some time, I experienced a proficiency gap in my coaching practice.  

It felt like an invisible wall.  I would hit it during certain sessions, where I either couldn’t hear the client with sufficient accuracy, or they triggered me in a way that I didn’t always know how to manage.  

It turns out that what I lacked was full access to my intuition.

About a year and a half ago I attended a workshop with my business coach.  It seems I had hit that invisible wall with regard to my professional development, so we went about exploring that.  She sensed correctly that the obstacle to filling my practice had more to do with my unconcious beliefs around money, than anything logistical I was or wasn’t doing.  

So she offered to “do a healing” on me.

Now, I’ve seen the results this woman has produced in her clients, including me, so I wasn’t about to stop trusting her now.  And while she is an entrepreneurial business expert in the technical and logistical sense, I’ve witnessed her extraordinary intuitive abilities as well.  So off we went, on a very particular healing journey that took about seven minutes to complete.

I have to verify this date-wise, but what happened next happened fast.  Immediately following the workshop, I lengthened my coaching package and raised my rates accordingly.  

Within a week I had enrolled my first client at this price, and within about a month or so, my practice was filled with people paying more for my coaching than ever before.

Okay…  Whatever that woo-woo was she was doing… it worked.  Power of suggestion? Placebo effect? Who cares? I wanted to learn how to do what she did.  So at the first opportunity I had, I asked her, and she told me the name of the modality she’d used. 

I found the New York City center for this work and naturally, enrolled in the first course available. The initial training lasted three days and was all I could hope for.  

While at first I didn’t know how I would apply it to my coaching, by applying it to my life overall it has allowed me to go right through those invisible walls with my most challenging clients, and I haven’t been triggered since.  Which is not to say I never will be, but if I am, I’m certain I will be able to use that information and move through it powerfully to the benefit of both the client and myself.

While I’m sure you’re curious, I’m afraid that I can’t reveal the name of this system because I don’t want risk blowing its Mojo for you, should it ever be recommended by someone.  

You see, once I’d decided to go this route, I did my due diligence by hitting google like a mad woman.  Rather than shying away from skeptics and neigh-sayers, I seek them out and examine their arguments so that I can rest easy knowing I’ve vetted something as fully and truthfully as I can. 

Admittedly, I’m glad I’d had that experience with my coach before embarking on my research, because what I unearthed was unnerviing: 

While it is respected in alternative medicine and New Age circles, the system of which I write has been “successfully de-bunked” via a couple of lawsuits. 

According to medical records, which were subpoenaed for trial on behalf of some practitioners who felt they’d been defrauded, it seems that the founder of this modality believed it was necessary to embellish his claims with regards to the direness of his personal narrative.  In other words when he’d “cured himself,” he wasn’t nearly as sick as he claims to have been. The petitioners won their suit. The appeals that followed were repeatedly unsuccessful.

This saddened me… because in my opinion this sullies the reputation of an amazing technique as well its many competent practitioners by association.  

That said, I’ve experienced this stuff first hand, as both a client and a practitioner.  Simply put: it works.  

Hence the title of this essay. 

This guru-type person isn’t the first Buddha in the road I’ve needed to kill.  Or at least, side-step, to use less violent imagery. Some time ago I lived in an ashram for two and a quarter years, having gone there out of what felt like a choiceless choice…I was irresistibly drawn to the yogic master who led it.  

Now this chap, along with many other useful teachings, demanded that his disciples (the ones that lived on campus, like me) practice Bramacharyia, a type of celibacy designed to allow the devotee to cleanse and raise her spiritual energy.  Frankly, it was just the thing, as I was in dire need of a detox in that department.

Eventually the constraints of this path became too much for me and I returned to my life and career as a performer in New York.  Then, twelve years later, a scandal erupted: Mr. Bramachyaria had been sleeping with several of his disciples over a number of years.

The ripple effect of “The Fall,” as a yogic brother of mine puts it, has had impact across the globe. Personally, it tore my marriage apart, twice… because I couldn’t reconcile the defining choice I’d made…that of a life partner…guided by the virtuous priorities I’d picked up while a yogini, with the hypocrisy of my teacher!  As a result I felt duped, trapped and ripped off.

Over the years I have worked to integrate that betrayal.  And today I know I made the right choice of a husband. Despite what transpired during the years that followed, I have no doubt that when I left my life and career to join a ‘cult’,  it was exactly what I needed to do at the time. 

My spiritual residency was a necessary step in my evolution as a human being, and I will always be grateful for it.  

This is why I assert that any healing modality, no matter how much mud gets thrown at it, even if its been “de-bunked” or its founders misbehave, is valid as long as it produces results.  

With regard to the system I’m currently studying, I plan to continue to do so for as long as it serves my growth and that of my clients.

I hope this is liberating news.  

Because when it comes to your life, you are the expert.  If something works, do it.  Trust yourself, and by that I mean trust your own experience.  

How?  By holding on to your agency: Stay wary of developing overly-protective crushes on the guru-type person who propounds whatever it is that’s working for you.  

Otherwise, if you begin to think they can do no wrong, should they be exposed as frauds in some way, you could find yourself negating the real progress you’ve made by applying their systems.

Worst of all, their disgrace could cause you to lose faith in yourself, and in your own judgement by association. 

And that, my fellow traveler, would be the biggest lie of all.

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