Commitment stamina is the key ingredient of resilience.
If you don’t tether yourself to something via a commitment to it, you’ll bail as soon as the going gets tough.
When the going gets tough, you must move through and rebound from the toughness of it. This requires having skin in the game.
That’s what making a commitment is. It’s a wager of sorts. It ‘makes things interesting’.
Doesn’t mean the gamble will pay off. It just means that one way or another, you’ll go through it. No matter what happens, you’ll cultivate the necessary experience and tools to ante up again.
Commitment stamina, that is, being willing not to welch on the deal, is how you cultivate resilience.
A loser is not someone for whom things don’t work out. A loser is someone who will not learn. Interesting how close the word ‘loser’ is to ‘lost’. As in lost opportunity. Or at a ‘loss’ as to how or what to do or focus on.
But here’s the thing. You’re only a loser if you are not WILLING. Someone who WILL not learn is not someone who doesn’t know how; it’s someone who doesn’t have the DESIRE to learn how to learn.
Desire is the spark of willingness.
People who do not even desire to learn how to learn are staying in victim mode. Victim mentality is what makes someone a loser. To be a loser is actually the embodiment of a verb: To lose.
When we live in victim mode, we lose our personal agency. We lose out on an opportunity. A loser is someone very adept at losing, and even eschewing opportunities. I wrote another blog about how there’s no such thing as fear of success… if you truly are a loser, you have chosen being one by being unwilling to do the work.
You are successful at staying either comfortable or with ‘the devil you know’ whether that be depression, apathy or overwhelm. In the end, ‘the devil you know’ is comfortable.
Don’t settle for succeeding at staying comfortable. Strive for the success of doing the work, regardless of the outcome.
Trust me, it’s much more gratifying.