Two ideas can exist at once: you can be grateful to have a job that calls on your strengths and skills when so many are un-or-underemployed.
At the same time, you can feel you’re stagnating and don’t believe in the mission of the company you work for.
Being grateful for does not mean settling for an unhappy status quo in your life.
My new clients tend to be highly intelligent people and as such, they often come to me in a state of risk-aversion. They are making a living and don’t want to rock the boat. Meanwhile, they’re living a life of quiet desperation as they see the sands of time in the hour glass succumb to gravity.
I’ve also noticed that most people who aspire to something yet stay stuck with ‘the devil they know’ have been burned.
That burn, or instance of failure has become a defining moment for them.
Here’s the thing about defining moments: We define them.
The outcome of a job interview has everything to do with your interpretation of the circumstances, especially going into it.
If you go in curious and ready to learn, but you don’t get the job, you are free to explore why. Were there questions asked that uncovered a required skillset that you don’t yet have? If so, are you interested in acquiring it?
Whether or not you are is useful information as you continue your search.
On the otherhand, what happens when you go into the interview or audition projecting your own fears about your abilities or fitness for the role?
Perhaps you even botch the audition because of the ‘fraud factor’ running in the background of your mind. Or you didn’t get the gig because the assessors don’t like your eyebrows.
If you go in with the wrong narrative running in your head, you have created a self-fulfilling prophesy that leaves you too afraid to go after the next opportunity.
Both instances are, infact, self-fulfilling prophecies.
If you are unhappy with your work, and worse, you believe that you “should” be happy with it, that is an indication that you have bought into someone else’s idea of what is “good” and what is “bad”. The fact of the matter is that these dualities are merely personal projections onto that which simply is.
Once you recognize that you’ve gotten out of touch with your own ideals by buying into somebody elses, its time to pause and reassess. It is time to do some introspective work, perhaps through journaling.
There are many prompts to help you do so. One classic to the coaching profession is to write down your top five values. Next, identify where you are and are not living in alignment with them.
For example you may write: creativity, romance, loyalty, prosperity, social consciousness. Then you recognize that the way you spend your days does not align with those values.
Instead, you haven’t been on a date in five years and quit playing the guitar. You think you are being loyal because you stick with the same job you hate despite the toxic workplace culture and the fact that the company has ties to some globally nefarious doings.
Values-wise, you are being totally disloyal to yourself on several fronts. As far as prosperity goes hey, it pays well! Yes, and if you’re staying there out of fear of losing that paycheck, that isn’t exactly a prosperity mindset, is it?
And as for social conciousness? You get the idea.
This is not to say you’re out of integrity if you don’t up and immediately quit this job. We all have to contend with our corporeal reality. However, a true prosperity mindset would allow you to take some risks and explore new opportunities in a job sector more aligned with what matters to you.
And because your soul isn’t so depleted, you start playing the guitar again.
One reason people stay stuck is because they think it’s “too late”. To late for what? Ask that question honestly and I think you’ll find that your answer is based on some familial or cultural mythology like: “I should have gotten my masters but that could take three more years and I’ve already aged out of that profession”.
The fact is that whatever you do, if all goes well, you’ll be three years older anyway.
With or without a masters.
If you decide to go for one and love what you’re learning in the process, that will enrich your life in ways you cannot foresee. You’ll also be forming relationships that could foster opportunities in the field.
It’s hard to bust your own mythologies. That’s why people hire a coach.
I’m here, whenever you’re ready.
