{"id":371942,"date":"2023-02-10T00:51:29","date_gmt":"2023-02-10T05:51:29","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/creativecallingcoaching.com\/?p=371942"},"modified":"2023-02-10T00:51:33","modified_gmt":"2023-02-10T05:51:33","slug":"eye-contact-is-a-superpower","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/creativecallingcoaching.com\/eye-contact-is-a-superpower\/","title":{"rendered":"Eye Contact is a Superpower"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><em>DISCLAIMER: This post does not apply to the severely visually impaired, who probably have developed compensatory superpowers.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When I was a very young woman, I had a super-power.&nbsp; I could walk into any public space, a bar, a restaurant, a park\u2026and if I saw someone I wanted to sleep with, all I had to do was make eye-contact and we were off to the races.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>That\u2019s not a boast. Comedian Carol Leifer once aptly observed: \u201cIf you wanna see a naked man, ask him!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This was the late 70s.&nbsp; Sluttiness was in and AIDS was not yet a thing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But the ability to make eye contact is still a superpower.&nbsp; Perhaps that\u2019s why many of us avoid it. With great power comes great responsibility. Eye contact can be perceived as a challenge in the animal kingdom. That\u2019s why you shouldn\u2019t lock eyes with a pitbull.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It can also be <a href=\"https:\/\/www.fastbraiin.com\/blogs\/blog\/adhd-and-eye-contact\">a challenge<\/a> for people with ADHD and other neurodivergent issues.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The thing is, if you relate to making eye contact being a challenge, consider making it a skill worth consciously developing.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>For one thing, it helps with picking up social cues. If you\u2019re monologuing and don\u2019t notice the other person\u2019s face screaming \u2018uh\u2026I gotta go\u2019 you can gain the rep of being the type of poor soul whose a must-to-avoid.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I\u2019ve been struck by how often I come across this feature in older adults who live alone.&nbsp; Perhaps it\u2019s lonliness desperately purging itself on an audience, or perhaps being someone who seems to exhibit no unexpressed thoughts caused that loneliness. Whatever the chicken-or-the-egg issue is, it\u2019s a problem that I believe a little eye contact could help resolve in many cases.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Eye contact requires an ability to focus, which is why it\u2019s worth practicing.<\/strong> If you undertake it, eye contact will strengthen your ability to be present, which allows you to take in what\u2019s actually going on in the room\u2026 including what other people are saying, doing or feeling.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>So screw your courage to the sticking point, and start looking people in the eye.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>DISCLAIMER: This post does not apply to the severely visually impaired, who probably have developed compensatory superpowers. When I was a very young woman, I had a super-power.&nbsp; I could [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":371943,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_et_pb_use_builder":"off","_et_pb_old_content":"<!-- wp:paragraph -->\n<p>Stress can be either helpful or unhelpful.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<!-- \/wp:paragraph -->\n\n<!-- wp:paragraph -->\n<p>For example, for some people, procrastination creates the stress needed to focus.&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n<!-- \/wp:paragraph -->\n\n<!-- wp:paragraph -->\n<p>Unfortunately, the procrastination used in cultivating the stress that spits out a term paper at the last minute is a road paved with anxiety.<\/p>\n<!-- \/wp:paragraph -->\n\n<!-- wp:paragraph -->\n<p>So what is anxiety?&nbsp;<\/p>\n<!-- \/wp:paragraph -->\n\n<!-- wp:paragraph -->\n<p>Anxiety is worrying in advance. It is a state of fear in response to a future event or occurrence. Anxiety is generated by worry, and worry, simply put, is an abuse of the imagination.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<!-- \/wp:paragraph -->\n\n<!-- wp:paragraph -->\n<p>Ergo, unlike stress, anxiety is never useful.<\/p>\n<!-- \/wp:paragraph -->\n\n<!-- wp:paragraph -->\n<p>So if you find yourself worrying a lot, you\u2019ve got anxiety.&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n<!-- \/wp:paragraph -->\n\n<!-- wp:paragraph -->\n<p>If you\u2019re cranking something out for twelve hours straight day after day because you find yourself in either a state of hyperfocus or an inability to slow down and relax without the aid of intoxicants, you\u2019re stressed.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<!-- \/wp:paragraph -->\n\n<!-- wp:paragraph -->\n<p>In the above case of negative stress, you\u2019ve probably set yourself up with a lot of anxiety leading up to execution, versus planning well in advance and working incrementally.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<!-- \/wp:paragraph -->\n\n<!-- wp:paragraph -->\n<p>A little eustress is good. You can\u2019t win a race without it.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<!-- \/wp:paragraph -->\n\n<!-- wp:paragraph -->\n<p>But the distress we often find ourselves in is what leads us to quit before we finish something. Leaving something incomplete due to distress only reinforces that pattern.<\/p>\n<!-- \/wp:paragraph -->\n\n<!-- wp:paragraph -->\n<p>That\u2019s a problem.<\/p>\n<!-- \/wp:paragraph -->\n\n<!-- wp:paragraph -->\n<p>In a way, the answer to the question \u201cAm I stressed or is it anxiety\u201d is the wrong question because you\u2019re probably not asking it just to satisfy your curiosity.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<!-- \/wp:paragraph -->\n\n<!-- wp:paragraph -->\n<p>What you want is an antidote to both.<\/p>\n<!-- \/wp:paragraph -->\n\n<!-- wp:paragraph -->\n<p>The antidote to both stress and anxiety is called planning. Planning time for the steps and stages of a project. Planning time with family. Planning time to meditate. Planning to get away and recharge.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<!-- \/wp:paragraph -->\n\n<!-- wp:paragraph -->\n<p>Planning is a learnable skill. If you don\u2019t think you\u2019re good at it, then that just means you need to find a teacher and start to practice.<\/p>\n<!-- \/wp:paragraph -->\n\n<!-- wp:paragraph -->\n<p>A coach is a teacher of planning, but not just any plan, your plan. The plan hidden inside you. That\u2019s the plan we coaches are trained to help you excavate and execute.&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n<!-- \/wp:paragraph -->\n\n<!-- wp:paragraph -->\n<p>So whether you\u2019re stressed or anxious, chances are your plans could use an upgrade. Time step outside and take a look at your modus operandi, if you have one.<\/p>\n<!-- \/wp:paragraph -->\n\n<!-- wp:paragraph -->\n<p>If not, it\u2019s time to call an expert.<\/p>\n<!-- \/wp:paragraph -->","_et_gb_content_width":"","_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[68,16,304,305,306],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v22.2 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Eye Contact is a Superpower<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"But the ability to make eye contact is still a superpower.\u00a0 Perhaps that\u2019s why many of us avoid it. 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