Don’t Pathologize Pain

Don’t Pathologize Pain

Sometimes, despite being right on point with our purpose and goals, we experience ‘negative’ moods and emotions and forget that they’re nothing more than the weather: they always pass. When we forget this fact, it’s not uncommon to think our feelings mean that...
Ontological Versus Psychological

Ontological Versus Psychological

Many years ago, my very first coach David Dowd said that ‘coaching is ontological, not psychological.’ That sounded so fucking smart.  So smart that as a coach myself I started quoting him whenever clients started wandering into ‘Why’-ville so heavily that it...
Use Your Mistakes to Coach Yourself

Use Your Mistakes to Coach Yourself

One of the biggest obstacles my clients must learn to overcome is self-judgment. This is how self-judgment works: When something doesn’t go your way, you take it as a condemnation of yourself.  As if no external factors exist. ‘Mistakes’ happens when something...
The Choice of Indecision

The Choice of Indecision

I don’t believe in fear of success.  Because I believe that everyone is successful.   Oh, horses*&t! No, really.  Because success is what will make us happy, right?  Well, the reason we’re all successful is that the primitive part of our...
Feeling VS Wanting

Feeling VS Wanting

“I don’t feel like it.” How many times have my clients had a breakthrough session with me, got clear on what they wanted, identified all these great strategies and action plans, only to wake up the next day feeling as though they’re being pressed to death like Giles...
Seeing Past the Next Five Minutes

Seeing Past the Next Five Minutes

Do you sometimes feel at a loss when you finish a task or project?   Do you just not know what to do next?   That can be because deciding what to do next will entail thinking about the future, and what you want to create out of it.  What a...